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Whoah – over the last few weeks, things have gotten seriously out of balance. Lots of work priorities, (including work socializing), and some really heavy duty personal paperwork, have meant that a few other things have suffered. Namely, my usual commitment to at least try and eat healthily and exercise, and sadly, my relaxing, ‘hanging out time’ with my husband and my friends.
With less than a month to go until Christmas, it’s time to get back on track. The gym has seen my tracksuited self again this weekend for the first time in an embarrassingly long time. And it’s hard work! I feel dejected at having to ramp up to fitness again, but know that it’s going to be better in the long run if I take those small steps, rather than really go for it, and burn myself out.
Homecooking is back on the menu! I’ve always thought this was an easy way to get back to health. There’s just something about home-cooked food which makes me feel better, even if there’s cheese and olive oil! At least you can control the amount you put in. And cooking relaxes me too.
Sleep. Ah yes. That would be good. Stress always stops me sleeping well, so i’ll be trying to get some early nights in while I can. At least before the Christmas party circuit starts up. I’m always tempted to stay up during the week, so I can get more stuff done, squeeze more stuff into my day, but sometimes, you just need to recognize when enough is enough.
And dancing? Yep, back on the dancefloor as of this week! Rick and I have slipped a little from our Lindy Hop trials, mainly due to other commitments, work trips etc. But we both miss it, and it’s a great way to spend time together.
I’m hoping that these things combined can get me on the road to feeling good again. And of course, the hanging out with my friends bit too, but with our ‘urban family’ Thanksgiving just around the corner, that’s looking in good shape. Time for me to get started on my special brussel sprout recipe. For all the sprout non-believers out there!
Lastly, I’d like to re-commit to my blog. Sadly, it’s been another thing that’s slipped in the last couple weeks, and I’m not happy about it. So, I need to carve out the time for that too.
So, while I might not be hitting all of my November goals anytime soon, I feel good about getting everything back in good shape. Just in time for an exciting Christmas trip back to the UK with Rick!
Check back here to see if I can keep things on track…
Where did the time go?? I actually can’t believe it’s already November, but after being prompted by Sapana’s post over at NYCFullHeart, i can’t risk being ‘tardy to the party‘. Yes, you know I live and die by the Real Housewives - don’t judge me!
So, here are my November goals. I had thought it was time to be a little more adventurous than October. But then, October did contain a pretty monumental event – my wedding! So, i’m still trying to catch up to the rest of my October goals. And you can’t really blame me now can you?
Here’s a recap of my October goals:
- Overhaul and update my wardrobe for Fall/Winter: Erm. I have a heap of clothes on my bedroom floor. I guess that’s a start? I need a rainy SF day to continue the purge! On the flip side, i did buy some great basics – details in another post to come soon.
- Conquer my nascent fear of flying: I tried all my techniques on a flight to NYC, and it worked great! My best tip is remembering to ‘move with the turbulence’, which essentially means jumping around in your seat to your iPod, instead of clinging onto the seat for dear life. Sounds crazy, and people will look at you like you’re nuts. But it works.
- Master at least one great new recipe: Aha! Even in the midst of all the craziness, i DID make something new. Roasted pork loin, rolled in rosemary scented salt from the farmer’s market and served with roasted butternut squash. Delicious, and very, very easy. Next up, poached eggs in red wine sauce, a Balthazar classic, and also recommended by my new sister in law Kirsten!
- Spend at least one day this month completely and blissfully free of chores, admin, or ‘to-dos’: Hmm, still not quite there! Although, a Saturday full of the King Tut exhibition, lunch and Muir Woods, might just qualify! Clearly, more work needed here on the “do absolutely nothing at all and don’t feel guilty about it” front
- Oh, and last but never least – enjoy being married! TICK!
So for November, I need a mix of easily achievable and something a bit more fun. It’s a crazy month, work and visitor-wise, and also my birthday month. So i reckon i deserve to chill out a little bit:
- Indulge in a full day of pampering and relaxation: with my birthday coming up, that’s all the excuse i need! No chores, no admin, no life projects. Just chilling out. Easy. Right???
- Ok, FINALLY sort my closet out, once and for all: capsule wardrobe here i come!
- Take plenty of time to really enjoy my friends: if anything has suffered most in the last few crazy months, it’s been my long lazy days hanging out with the girls (and boys). Time to make some positive changes there.
- Go to a Lindy Hop club and dance the night away: Rick and I are still loving our Monday night classes. But of course we never find time to practice inbetween times, and we’re still too shy/scared to actually go to a live club and dance with strangers. This is a big one for both of us, but i think we’re ready! Rick might not be quite so sure…
- Hit the gym BEFORE work, at least once a week: I start work at 8:00am. Yes, you read that correctly. Have done for years. So it’s pretty hard to fit a work out in, before the work day starts. But recently i’ve been so busy after work, or soooo tired and drained at the end of a 10/11 hour day, that i’ve been skipping the gym altogether. Not good. I actually did this once last week, and while it required a little planning and a lot of will power, it felt pretty good. The challenge is to make it a regular thing.
So, there they are. Pretty modest actually. But maybe that’s what i need right now. I’ve always been the type to have a big long list of goals and projects. It just feels so good to tick them off! But i do need to step and just enjoy the ride sometimes. Something i learnt from an adorable little girl this past weekend.
Feel free to nag me about any of these! Encouragement, nagging, it’s all the same, right?
I always find a nice gentle irony in the fact that my blog is called “Life Beyond The List”, yet I pretty much live my life through lists. At work, i’m the queen of the to-do list, and at home, it’s pretty much the same. Only lately, that irony hasn’t felt so nice and gentle. It’s felt downright irritating and uncomfortable.
When did i become incapable of spontaneity? I used to be capable of it, pretty sure about that. In fact, I used to be really darn good at it! But recently, anything “off plan”, whether it’s a food item on a menu, a trip somewhere, or even a drink with the girls, has become a chore, another thing on the list, something that requires its own mini plan of how to get there and enjoy it. And that can be fraught with anxiety, much like the type that Gen Y blogger, Rebecca Thorman describes over at Modite. Just like her, i find myself ‘nesting’ my way out of anxiety, staying home or ducking out to avoid the stress related with erm, having fun. Just like her, i’m a highly productive member of the workforce, can be counted on to do the right things by my friends (remember, i always have a plan!), and I’m sure I’m enriching my life by ticking off things on the big, fat to do list. Only, it would be nice if sometimes i could switch off the list making freak in my brain, and just chill out.
The problem came home to roost last night, at mine and Rick’s Lindy Hop class. The class last night was all about improvisation. The art of letting go and doing something off-plan, off-message, off the beat, whatever! Just going with the flow and seeing where your feet, and the music, took you. Well, hands up for guessing who found that a problem? I pride myself on being able to follow choreography well. Not so good when the choreography is non-existent! Even my inherent dancing skills couldn’t save me from my very English reticence and control-freakery terror of not knowing what to do next! In the end, I managed to let go, and even, gasp, enjoy myself. But it was a long road!
I took a good lesson away from dance class last night. And no, it wasn’t just the belly slide move, although that was a good one! It was to try and re-train my brain in the art of thinking off-plan. Even just some of the time. I think it would re-energize my creative juices and enable me to get back to the person i was in my 20s. Without the mini skirts and caked on bronzer. Ahem.
Great fun today – we discovered a free Lindy Hop lesson and dance in Golden Gate Park. Lindy In The Park! It’s just one of the things that’s so great about San Francisco. Gatherings of people who come from all different walks of life, coming together randomly to share moments.
We’re still total beginners though, even three months into our adventure, so it was a little bit scary to get out there and mix it up. But, we threw off our reservations and got into a cheeky Charleston!
Sometimes it seems as if even your free time is highly regimented. This blog is called Life Beyond The List for a reason, as it’s my attempt to chronicle some of the ways even an anally-retentive, list freak like me can chill out and enjoy the good stuff. BUT, then i find myself with a to-do list for weekend activities! This weekend, it went something like this:
- Spend quality time with boyfriend (yep, this actually made it onto an actual list – and yes, before you say it, I feel sorry for him too;)
- Go to gym twice, so i can kid myself those two Specialtys cookies last week won’t make it onto my hips
- Go to grocery store, so i can buy some healthy food for the week and not resort to take-out tacos from the hole in the wall on Divisadero Street, near our cottage
- Cook said food in advance for the week, knowing that there won’t be time to cook all the luscious-looking veggies and fish when i actually need to eat them
- Harangue myself for buying the same old things at Whole Foods, that are easy to make, taste good and fairly healthy. I always want to cook new recipes, but just never have the time. Turkey chili and roasted squash it is then
- Call my Mom back in England, for a weekly dose of local gossip, swine flu update, and progress report on my brother finally moving out, aged 29…
- Set up my new laptop, so i can transfer my ridiculous number of photos and have a proper repository for my blog materials
- Research a potential Fall trip to Chicago, only feasible if United points can be used. And we all know how easy and intuitive it is to book flights with miles…
- Wonder aloud for the hundredth time why my herbs (Italian Basil, Thyme and Sage if you’re asking) won’t grow any taller, but be grateful that at least they smell amazing
- Wring my hands in horror at the damage snails have wrought on my baby squash plants, and consider kind ways of torturing them
- Try and train an 11 yr old dog in the basics of obedience
- Walk 11 yr old dog for an extra time during the day, ’cause the sun is shining and i feel like a bad person if i don’t
- Facebook my friends that left me messages three weeks ago
- Finish and order my first Blurb book, of our new cottage, for my Mom back in England
- Buy frames for two prints that are begging to go on a wall, somewhere
- Work out new ways of preventing dog from going upstairs and chewing through baby gate, without damaging the look and feel of our cottage
- Decide on a theme (with boyfriend of course) for each room in cottage, so we can finally make some more progress in the decor dept (note to boyfriend – posters of classic Sci-Fi movies do not a country-style cottage make…)
- Sort through photographs to start planning the photo wall that Anh-Minh inspired me to create
- Visit a new restaurant or new bar (in this case, Press Club for delicious wine, and Lolo for quirky, amazing food), so i can at least kid myself my boundaries extend beyond SPQR and Delfina Pizzeria
- Try and walk past Gap without buying some new floral print item of clothing (oops, failed – take a look: http://tr.im/u7rt)
- See the new Harry Potter movie, because, you know, it has to be done. (Very good by the way. Nice and dark, which always appeals to me)
- Practice Lindy Hop before our two hour, Monday night class
Yep – sounds sooo relaxing doesn’t it?? And the sad thing is, this didn’t even involve hanging out much with my friends, something that definitely needs to be remedied for next weekend (luckily, August is full of good times ahead in that dept, so a little calm before the Margarita storm was actually kinda welcome this weekend).
BUT – the good thing is, it did involve hanging out with my boyfriend a lot, which, as he works every Sunday, was a good deal. It also involved one of the best massages i’ve had in a long time at Uncoiled (try it, and say i referred you – discounts in it for you and me!), and some old-fashioned, zero cost, zero stress, sitting on a chair on my porch, in the sun, and with a very happy dog, just the flowers, butterflies and wind chime for company. Lovely.
View from my back yard
It’s a constant battle of mine to actually switch off completely and relax. I’m not that great at it, and sometimes, it isn’t even that great for me. In fact, sometimes (and as noted with the Lindy Hop trials), it’s actually more therapeutic to engage my brain in something different and challenging, then just lie around, feeling wan and apathetic. But, i would like to feel less pressure to complete all these different personal projects, that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Even a three day trip to Calistoga has required military-style planning, and don’t even get me started on a Christmas trip to the UK. I guess i need to remember that sometimes, a day spent in the sunshine, listening to nothing but peace and quiet, and stroking a very chilled out dog, should be at the very top of my own, personal, to-do list.
What about you? What’s top of the personal de-stress list, and do you have enough of it in your life?
Rick and I have gone up in the world! Now at level 2 of Lindy Hop at the Cheryl Burke School of Dance, we are starting to learn how to turn our disjointed steps into more of a fluid, connected routine. However, it’s not an exaggeration to say that the first week of level 2 was bit of a rude awakening… Level 1 and Level 1 plus were just so, comforting, so fun, so “we don’t know what the hell we’re doing yet, but hell, neither does anyone else”. We had a lot of fun, received a lot of critique (yes, it won’t surprise anyone that knows me to learn that i had a few problems learning how to be a good follower…), had a few arguments with each other (hmm, not really the intended effect, but there you go), and learnt some basic steps. At the end of seven weeks of hard graft, sore feet, and lots of bumping into each other and apologizing to anyone else we had the misfortune to dance with, we could do the basics.
I’m still not sure whether our teacher was just being kind when he told us that we were ‘ready’ for level 2. Two weeks in, and it’s now slightly less terrifying and horrifying, but we still leave after two hours thinking, “how did we manage to muddle our way through it??” Everyone else is just so good, we are always running to catch up. And when we heard we’d be doing moves called the ‘hammerlock’, and ‘saw-kicks’, I think we both wondered if we’d inadvertently stepped onto the set of Psycho, rather than onto a dancefloor.
To make matters worse, the classes are on a Monday night, from 7:45 – 9:30pm, which, after a nearly 12 hour day at work and no time for dinner, is a bit of a super-natural feat. Add in the fact that classes are in the middle of nowhere (otherwise known as Potrero Hill…), and that having no car of our own, we need a cab to get back home in one piece and before midnight, you might wonder why in the world we bother!
Well, it turns out that dancing isn’t just good for the body, it’s also very good for the soul. Talk about work/life balance, I’ll tell you that when you’re standing on one foot, grabbing onto your partner for dear life, and then executing a double turn for the first time, all to a very fast 8 count of music, there’s really NO room in your head for any work-related stress. In fact, there’s no room for anything else in your head. Period. Everything gets focused on the steps, the hold, the count, the rhythm, the technique, even the odd piece of flair! I’ve had multiple massages in my life, gone to a zen retreat and done hours of yoga, yet nothing has ever managed to still my mind quite as much as this. It’s total concentration first, followed by total performance (that point when actually manage to stop thinking about the steps and just dance, is quite a revelation), and for me, it’s become an essential and enjoyable way to switch off. I tend to relax most when i’m still engaged in doing something, preferably learning something new, and having fun while i’m doing it. So Lindy Hop is perfect for me. I’ve danced before, but never this style, so I have to un-learn old habits and focus on how i can continually improve and learn. Then I get to see the results pay off in the fundamental and elemental pleasure i get from the dancing itself. Strikes me as a rather good practice for other areas of my life too, both professional and personal. Focus, learn, improve, enjoy. Simple!
So, if meditation, bending like a pretzel and being kneaded into a pulp just aren’t cutting it in the relaxation stakes, try cutting it on the dance floor instead. It’s a crappy movie, but the look of pure joy on Richard Gere’s face in “Shall We Dance”, when he masters a tricky ballroom move, is the same one i have plastered on every Monday night. And with moves like the ‘eggbeater’, ‘yump’ and ‘bellyslide’ promised in the coming months, it’s a sure bet that there’s more joy (or at least, confusion, followed by ‘no, i can’t do that’, followed by ‘ok i’ll try it’, followed by joy) in my Monday night future.
I haven’t even touched here on on the cool culture surrounding swing dance and Lindy Hop, not least, the fabulous styling that accompanies it. But i will, just as soon as i master that hammerlock… In the meantime, if you’re in San Francisco and want to know what all the fuss is about, check out this list of Lindy events, and enjoy this video of people doing it properly (i.e. our teacher!)
(Thanks to Boston College Lindy group for this great image!)
Happened upon a great little corner of the Fillmore St Festival today. Watched the Lindy Hop Championship and got very jealous of everyone’s mad skills! Suffice to say, I’m a few years away from that level, but i can dream! Enjoy this pic, which i like, because it captures the joy of motion:
